Who asked you?? 

As I sit out here in a communal patio area, this question just popped into my head. You see, everything that is done in someone’s life has the tendency to cause someone else to pass some level of judgement. I know I pass judgement on people.  I am a human being who happens to watch other human beings. However I do not let those judgements be known unless asked. There lies the difference. I have seen and read so many articles and opinion pieces about how people feel about those they consider obese at the gym , breastfeeding mothers in public, celebrities’ pregnancies and so much more. They get so bothered that they just have to voice that opinion. 

I learned from youth that opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one and most of the time, they stink. Basically, funking up the air with bile and levels of verbal sewage to likes you don’t want to hear or read.  The one that gets me the most is the shaming. I mean shaming on any level ( fat, skinny, breastfeeding, pregnancies, raising children, not wanting to have kids) the list just goes on and on. 

But every time I read one of this great op ed pieces, my first thought is “who asked you?” I do not care if you are a writer or not, who sincerely in their right mind asked you?  Society is working on helping change people’s minds about certain things but there are some battles that aren’t necessary. Example Vanessa Friedman wrote about Beyoncé pregnancy calling her article Beyoncé 3.0: the maternal ideal

She goes on the talk about how Beyoncé does not show the ugly of her pregnancy giving women a sense of falsehood while a women like Amal Clooney did not do any fan fare for her pregnancy and continues to go to work. First let’s not compare women and how each is handling their pregnancy. If you follow Beyoncé, you know she is perfectionist. It is really not hard to believe that she would show herself in the best light possible considering her whole life she has been critiqued and over critiqued. Amal Clooney is also not showing the ugly side of her pregnancy. I have yet to see one picture where Amal did not look stunning as she continues her work as an international law and human rights lawyer. She has looked impeccable throughout yet somehow she is more of what pregnancy should look like. She then goes on the expound about how she hopes Serena Williams will be a good role model for pregnancy as if the worlds most phenomenal athlete did not win a grand slam while pregnant. I do not know too many everyday women who do that and don’t show hide nor hair or morning sickness or being overly tired. I’m sorry but I would not look to these women to dictate how my pregnancy is going to go. Every woman is different and how their bodies handle pregnancy is different. 

Of course then there are the other pieces about well as a mom of four I can tell you pregnancy isn’t that glorious. Again, these women are not stating anything new. I get it. You want these young people to stop idolizing these celebrities and focus on the reality. Reality will slap you in the face enough without someone over preaching about it.  I know these celebrity women have the best doctors and staff to help them through it all so yeah they can show us the pretty.  I don’t expect anything less or more from them but again I’m forty years old and have my idols are older than me and I only care that they are entertaining me and are healthy. 

There is also the illustrious competition between fat and being skinny. How we shouldn’t fat shame and how we shouldn’t skinny shame. Well of course we shouldn’t. I don’t know what the hell most people are going through but if hey are making efforts to make their lives better, I’ll be a cheerleader.  I know how hard it is to get off your butt and do something that will help you and make you feel better about yourself and I am here for it. 

This is one of the reasons why I never offer my opinion unless asked and even then I have to gauge the audience. You can always tell those who need and ego stroke and those that are actually looking for some level of help or advice. 

But then again, who asked me for this? Hehhe 

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